Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Intelius Date Check causes my teenager to shriek
This is a paid review from BlogHer and Intelius search, but in contains the same bloggery I would have blogged, even if it were not, so go ahead and read it. Don't be scared!
A few weeks ago, The Referee and I went on a brief jaunt to Mexico. The day we left was the same day that our lovely, bright, and talented seventeen-year-old daughter, Kelly, attended high school for the last time. She is so lovely, bright, and talented, you see, that she graduated one trimester early.
That night, around midnight, The Referee received a text message from our other, equally as lovely and talented daughter, Rose. Rose is 5 years older, and therefore, The Boss of Kelly.
"Uhhh, Kelly's not home. You guys heard from her?
The Referee, being the traditional father, went into a controlled panic. He called and texted until Kelly finally responded to his "Where are you" query.
"At New Boyfriend Applicant's house (name changed to protect the hopefully still innocent)"
"Go home"
And then, The Referee moved from controlled panic to full-on, straight-up, apecrap panic.
This New Boyfriend Applicant? This New Boyfriend Applicant is a friend-of-a friend, and this New Boyfriend Applicant is a geezerly 24.
When the folks at BlogHer emailed me to ask if I might be interested in reviewing an online background research product called Date Check by Intelius, you can see why I jumped at the chance.
At this point, Kelly and New Boyfriend Applicant are not dating. They are "just friends."
We don't feel right about banning her from seeing him, because friend-banning is never, ever effective. If you ban a particular person from a teenager's life, the teenager's mind interprets that as a challenge, and at the same time, it causes an immediate emotional shift from "just friends" to the dramatic "he's the ONLY one who understands meeeeeee!" relationship.
Also, it doesn't seem quite fair to forbid her from seeing him because of their age difference. Why isn't it fair? Well, because The Referee was 24 when we started dating. I was 17. This is why The Referee is so panicked. He knows exactly what we were up to at their ages.
So tonight was the night to get down to it. Log onto Intelius and fire up a Date Check. All I needed was the man's name and the state in which he lives, and I was in business. Within minutes, I had some very interesting information, indeed.
I told Kelly I was doing this. I didn't ask her permission, and she preferred that I run a Date Check on her weasel-nosed little dirtbag ex-boyfriend instead. Well, I'm the mama, and I want to know about this current dude, so after she finished her protest (that was the shrieking) I sat her down next to me, entered my special code for a free test-drive (the service is $39.95, if you're not me, but there are some free iSearch services, too), typed New Boyfriend Applicant's name into the box, and hit the search button.
The first information that came up was pretty basic and benign: His address. His phone number. The names of some of his neighbors. The name of the owners of the property where he lives. Value of the property. Names of some relatives. Population of the area where he lives. Average home price. Average household income. Number of area sex offenders.
Hmmmm. I mentioned to Kelly that the house where he lives is owned by his parents, or at least, by two people, one with a feminine first name and one with a masculine first name, who share the same surname. Kelly has told us that he doesn't live with his parents, so I'm confused. Turns out his parents own the house, but live elsewhere.
I scrolled down to the next section, called Single State Criminal Check.
Gulp. It's not empty. It has entries. That's entries, plural. More than one criminal thing. Turns out there are four. FOUR CRIMINAL OFFENSES. April of last year: Gross Negligence, Driving While Impaired- Alcohol. From 2004, Misdemeanor Underage Drinking and Driving. Fortunately, both entries are repeated, so there are actually only two, not four offenses.
Well. As you might imagine, this prompted quite the discussion. Kelly knew about last year's DWI, but not about the underage drinking in 2004, though she was not surprised. It turns out that New Boyfriend Applicant is in recovery. He has been sober for six months, and the house he lives in is owned by his parents, but is a sober house. There is some sort of manager there, keeping an eye on things and making sure that the house stays free of drugs and alcohol. New Boyfriend Applicant goes to AA meetings regularly, and he very much wants and plans to live chemical-free for the rest of his life. Many of his family members are in recovery, as well, and he has lots of support. His driving privileges have been rescinded, but he works for his family's business, so there is always a sibling to deliver him to the office.
Whew. This came as heavy news, but Kelly reminded me that they are not actually dating at this point. She's not sure where it will go, but she would like me to relax, please. And really, I am not surprised when Kelly gravitates somebody who has a little somethin' somethin' in their life. She has always chosen friends who are a tad left of center somehow, either in their personality or their situation. That's part of who she is, which is why I am really appreciating this Date Check service!
Most of the Date Check results have links within them, and these links lead to more in-depth information that is available at additional cost. For example, if I wanted a complete property and neighborhood report with tax liens and judgements, I could fork over an extra fifteen bucks and have it instantly. For fifty bucks, I could get a lot more detail about those court filings, including a description of the offense, the disposition date, the sentence, and any additional notes that may be in the file.
Hmmm. Tempting, but I think I have enough. I will most definitely use Date Check again, though. I have a feeling this won't be the last New Boyfriend Applicant for this child, and then there's her sister…
It's hard being the parent sometimes, but it's a little less difficult when you at least have some information. If you would like to see what some others have written, check them out at BlogHer. If you want to read my writings on compelling topics like caulk and wild turkeys, you can visit What it Shwas.
And one more message from Intelius:
In addition to Intelius’s data search service, the free iSearch.com search engine allows you to quickly and easily uncover information about anyone. This is a great, targeted search that looks not only at public records, but also through social networking platforms. Get your search started at http://www.isearch.com.
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